Kasandra is the Victim

The news coverage this week has been inundated with the issue of gun control, when it should have been about the tragic murder of a beautiful young mother in the prime of her life. But, 22-year-old Kasandra Perkins,  murdered in cold blood, this past Saturday by her boyfriend Jovan Belcher, the Kansas City Chiefs linebacker, garnered little attention.

My heart breaks for the Perkins family and my prayers go out to them for their loss and to the young daughter who will grow up without ever knowing either of her parents.

I'm not particularly interested in sports, that's my husband's forte, but I was shocked by the news coverage. Kasandra, the VICTIM in this tragedy seems to have been forgotten, lost in a sea of spin from gun control advocates. The news media and pundits on every channel spouted statics about guns and violence or football related concussive injuries, anything to divert this horrific act away from  Jovan Belcher and the NFL.

There have been a number of theories as to why Jovan committed such a heinous crime from brain damage due to repeated head trauma to steroids or mental illness. We'll never know for sure. What we do know is he had a history of domestic violence going back to 2006, but no one is talking about that and no one is talking about Kassandra.

Instead, everyone is mourning the loss of Jovan Belcher. Teams have a moment of silence before games.  Really????  Where is the moment of silence for Kassandra?

Where is the discussion on domestic violence? Where is the outcry from the women's groups?

Jovan Belcher chose a profession knowing full well the toll it would take on his body, including his mind. Yet, he did it anyway. He did it for the money.

So, here is a reality check.

Mr. Belcher is not the victim. He knew what he was doing. He was an abusive, cold-blooded murderer and a coward.

Kasandra was the victim, as was her daughter.

This not about gun control and violence. Guns don't kill people; people without morals, values and self-control kill people.

This isn't about a head injury to football players and finding a way to excuse for horrific act, as some are trying to do; If Jovan could decide plays on the football field, he sure as hell knew the choice he was making when he pulled the trigger. He left Kassandra no choice.

Lucky Kids

It isn't often I stop another man in public and offer him a compliment, especially when my husband is with me. But a few days ago, I witnessed something that impressed me and I couldn't let the moment pass.

While shopping for a housewarming gift, I heard the unmistakable sound of merchandise tumbling from the shelf on the aisle next to me. Grateful it wasn't me knocking things over,  I ignored the commotion  until a blur rushed by. The next words and the tone of concern piqued my interest. 

 "Honey, are you all right?"

I peeked over the shelves in time to see a rather large man rush to the side of a young preteen girl. Her reply was too low for me to hear, but she looked relieved.

He patted her back.  "It's okay, nothing broke." His voice was gentle. "Let me help you." He knelt beside her and together they returned each item to its rightful place. He stood, smiled, gave her a reassuring pat on the back, and moved away, leaving her to shop on her own, once again. He left her  with no words of reproach or caution to watch what she was doing.  He headed in my direction to resume his own shopping as if nothing had happened.

I thought of the many times I'd witnessed other children in similar situations and the reaction of other parents.

The small child smacked on their tiny hand, bottom, or jerked away from the store shelves for simply mimicking mommy. The angry and frustrated mother, "I told you not touch!" The language changes as  children grow but the reaction is often the same.

"Get away from there."

"If you break that it's coming out of your allowance."

"Do you think I'm made of money?"

Much like the economy, patience is running thin in families across our nation. Our society is in turmoil to the point we are now debating the meaning of family, but as I observed this stranger with his daughter it was clear to me this man was an active, involved father and he understood completely the meaning of family. He gave me hope. 

"Excuse me Sir," I said.

Replacing an item on the shelf, he turned to me. "Yes?" He said. His smile was warm  and welcoming. Faint crows feet crinkled in curiosity, as he looked right at me. I could see why his daughter felt safe.

"I wanted to tell you how impressed I was with how you handled your daughter's mishap a few minutes ago. So often, I see parents get angry with their children when something like that happens, but your first concern was for your daughter, not the merchandise. It was wonderful to witness such parental love and patience."

He seemed surprised."Why, thank you, but we have five children, we're used to seeing lots of things get broken." He chuckled.

"Well, I just thought you should know, you're a great example for fathers."

"Thank you. I do my best."

 "Lucky kids." I said, walking away.

A laugh a Day...

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old; 

    you grow old because you stop laughing."

Michael Pritchard

Okay, I admit this is not mine; I can't take credit for it. This little gem, as the rumor goes, has been making the Internet rounds, but based on the last six months around our house my husband and I could relate. We enjoyed the best belly laugh we had in a long time. It felt good. Laughing together gave us a moment we shared the rest of the day.  So laugh away. Laughter is indeed good for the soul.

A Senior Moment

              This tale is about a woman's senior moment at the office and the search  

                       for her car keys.

The keys were nowhere to be found in the office, so she figured she must have left them in the car. She headed for the parking lot, thinking about the many times her husband had scolded her for leaving the keys in the ignition. When she reached the parking lot, it was empty. She immediately called the police to report her car stolen. Then she made the most difficult call.  

"Honey," she said when her hubby answered. "I left my keys in the car, and it's been stolen."  

 "Are you kidding me? I dropped you off at the office," he said 

Embarrassed she said, "Well, will you come and get me?" He retorted, "I will as soon as I convince this cop I didn't steal your car."                                                                                                                                   Spartanburg Herald Journal

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." - Stephen King

Want to Read a Page Turner?

I've always been an avid reader, but this past year I let other things distract me. Well, there's nothing quite like a page turner to get one back in the mood. Andrew Kaufman's The Lion, the Lamb, the Haunted: A Psychological Thriller had me hooked from page one.

A reporter with an unusual, secret obsessive-compulsive behavior sets out to uncover buried secrets from his damaged past. The unique voice of the author and the main character's journey will keep you riveted.

I gave this book four out of five stars. I thought the author missed an opportunity to add even more conflict and tension to this thriller had he allowed a relationship to develop between the main character and the female reporter. I'm a sucker for romance.

Nevertheless, this a great book and I will be reading more of Mr. Kaufman.

Curve Balls

Are there days you wish you were young again and the only decision you had to make was which color of crayon to use with the picture you were drawing? I've wished that a lot in the last week or so, especially when I had to make some tough decisions, the kind I didn't want to make.

As I've said before, "Things don't always go as planned," and for the last year flexibility has taken on new meaning for me and my family as I dodge one curve ball after another. But just so you know, I've become a damn good catcher. Maybe I'll have a story to tell when it's all said and done.

Stay tuned.

More or Less Reading?

I received a Kindle several years ago as a gift, and this week I'm upgrading to a Kindle Fire HD. I'm excited about all the new features the Fire offers, and like many others I too made reading a priority for 2013.

Every time I read someone's list of  resolutions with reading as a goal, I wondered, have eReaders increased or decreased our reading? You would think the convenience of having the of option millions of books at our fingertips for immediate download, would increase readership, but based on all the resolutions I'm seeing, I'm not sure it did. Initially, I imagine millions of books were downloaded, but all of them read? Doubtful. Why? I have a theory.

Information overload for one. When there are a  zillion different titles at your disposal, and a new book is added every minute, or so it seems, you soon own more books and magazines than you have time to read. The marketing statistics will tell us how many eReaders sold and how many books have been downloaded, but they cannot tell us how many are actually being read. And secondly, I miss books, real books, and I bet I'm not alone.

I love my Kindle, the convenience of instant gratification and being able to carry hundreds of books wherever I go. But, nothing compares to holding a book in my hand, or the smell of its pages while curled up in a chair by the fireplace. I've never gotten lost in a story on my Kindle the way I do when reading a real book. The experience just isn't the same.

Hundreds of books are on my Kindle waiting to be read, and at one time, I read a book a week. Reading is one of my favorite, most passionate things to do. I hope to do better this year, but I'll need to be more discerning in my choices. I'd love to hear from you, other readers. What do you think? Have the use of eReaders increased or decreased your reading pleasure? Are you reading more books or fewer? Leave me a comment. I'd love to know your thoughts.

Inspiration in Motion

I realize we are a week into the New Year, however a friend sent this to me and it was so beautiful I had to share it with all of you. If this doesn't inspire you to write, nothing will. 

"The New Year lies before you, like a spotless track of snow; be careful how you tread on it, for every mark will show."